i only count hours that shine

Live footages are going on right now

Sunday, November 30, 2008 10:15 PM

Hmm.
Not inspired to do anything.
I feel like reading, it's fun. Finally hit 300 pages. Well, almost.

lalalala
Good songs are playing~

Caroline sent me the human hammdiana jones. I LOVE IT, yay.
<3
I should do a picture of it. But I need a sword and a lady Hamm.
maybe a doll. But I have nothing that small. Unless I find a polly pocket. Which is kid history.

I had 4 nightmares today.
It was bad. Yes, bad.
I should think more happy before I sleep.

Dance tomorrow. I shouldn't do anything serious. I feel scared though.

Watched Four Christmases. It wasn't so fun towards the end.
But it was funny. Haha. The height difference was too much though.

Three can keep a secret if one of them is dead.

Random.
Okay going on.

I've not talked to Dan lately. Sigh. He must be having a great time.
Good for him. And, Matt?
I want go LA. Boo.

Today I went on webcam. Ok, I looked bad. But, whatever.
I showed Lene and Car my Beanie :D Showed Lene my shoes. Haha. There was lots of expressions invovled.
Showed Sean bad drawings and milo cereals. Erm.

Anyway, I watched a little bit of Star Wars. HAYDEN CHRISTENSEN, my bady :3
He looks so cute with the little braid thingy and the weird new hairstyle.
I should watch all of the 3 movies. Soon.

That's all.
I think.
Erm.
Yes, I think so.

The rest, I'm not typing.

I feel like reading,

Lene's mapling.
Sean's soccering.
Caroline's doing something.

So I've nothing to do.
And yesterday, I had a bad headache and chest pain. So I should sleep early. Rest early.

Today was eventful

Saturday, November 29, 2008 9:29 PM

Last night I was scared. Very very scared. Scared out of my mind.
But I slept.
My chest felt bit pain.
It did this morning too.

Had tuition. So much to do! My dad hit my back for no reason. I swear it hurt. My heart was still feeling pain. I think he's a bit sadistic.

Went out after that.
I pulled on a red tank top, black puffy skirt, white socks, brown new shoes, red hairband, black wrist band, red scrunchie.
So off we went.
Went to Paya Lebar. Haaha.
Lunch wasn't all good.

BUT CHARLES AND KEITH WAREHOUSE SALE PWNED!
We queued for like 20 minutes. There was so many people.
See, Ask for size, Try, Take, Go. Must go squeeze into the crowd with people.
I bought 2 pairs of shoes and a bag.
I WANT BOOTS. Only 20 bucks. Like what the hell? And I SAW THE BOOTS I WANTED FROM LAST YEAR! But no size. Only comes in one size. I FELT SO SAD):
Still hating that it doesn't have my size.
I saw Charles and Keith themselves. One of them drove a Ferrari. I think it was Keith.
The Ferrari rocked. It was red with racing car stripes on the hood and a yellow Ferrari symbol (The horse) on the side!

Went to Thermos warehouse sale after that. So many kids.

Then we saw IP zone's warehouse sales.
The prices ranged from one buck to six bucks. I bought a olive green and soft yellow jacket for 6 bucks.

Went to the Thai Temple after that. I asked why there was 8 joss sticks only and a monk heard us. A thai monk(: So he talked to us. And he told us to do this plant thing. Interesting.
I feel better now.
He told me a lot of things. Very good advice. I'm going to listen today.
Then he prayed and gave us the holy water thing.
And went on talking. He talked to me about meditating.
He told me that I needed to have a strong soul because he knows I'm scared.
And we must plant this plant. I don't get the reason why. I didn't really understand him.
He told us about respecting our parents and the paths we chose to walk in life. Then he told us about his love for trees and his permanent temple in Chiang Mai. He gave us his number and the address of the temple. He showed us pictures too. So pretty! Like moutains in the background and all.
At the end, he gave me 4 sweets after a very long choosing time. He told me it was my choice to give my family any I wanted to give them. But I had to think how to do so.

Went to Tiong Bahru to eat after that. Food was okay.
There was Chee Ko Peks. Jeez.

ORCHARD! Walked a bit. Haha.
Quite fun but didn't buy anything.
Sis just bought a black tank from Mango.

Then we came home.

I gave my dad a blue cool mint sweet. I didn't know why I did so.
I gave my mum a mango sweet. Because it's my favourite. And I love my mummy a lot.
I gave my sister a white mint sweet. Because I love her for being there for me last night and told me not to be scared.
I gave myself the same sweet I gave my dad.

I'm going to eat it later.
It's fruit plus. But it's holy. The monk prayed.

Watched a little whose line is it anyway on the TV just now. Funny.

My parents don't let me do a lot of things and don't allow me to go anywhere alone. They call me 'sick'. I don't know if I'm even sick.

I should be in Thailand now!
Our flight was postponed to next week. I feel like telling them to just cancel it and book another during Christmas week.

I want to go to a psychologist.
I'm serious.
I'm scared.
Ugh.
I held my sister's hand last night. I don't know if I was supposed to say this. I was scared, too scared.

Bye, for now.

Near death experience?

Friday, November 28, 2008 5:46 PM

Today was the scariest day of my life. I swear.

I think I met god.

If you don't choose to believe this then don't. You can check Aleithia's blog on it if she blogs about it.

So we were doing stretching and Shiuan Wen and Aleithia helped me. Then, my chest suddenly felt like it contracted and hurt like hell. Include my heart too.
So I turned around to lie down and all of a sudden I was in this place I do not know.

I was on a cloud and both sides of the path on the cloud was lined with palm trees. Very green, very tall, very nicely trimmed ones.
The sky a very nice tone of blue. Like the evening sky, a bit darker than baby blue.
There was a nice cool breeze blowing. It was quiet. Peaceful.
One word, Paradise.
I think my hair was let down and I was in a plain white dress. Looks like a night gown.
There was man standing quite far ahead of me, facing me. He was wearing all white and had a long brown beaded necklace around his neck. He was old. He has very little white hair left, pretty bald in the middle. His eyes were blue and full of age. His nose was pretty round-ish and his thin lips were curled into a smile. He looked very kind, pure in fact.
He was looking at me, holding one hand in another in front of him.

I started walking and I looked around me. Behind some palm trees, I saw a lion. Majestic, huge, perfectly groomed. Like Aslan from The Chronicles of Narnia movie.

I went on walking and everything started to spin and I saw flashbacks of my life. I asked,'where am i?'
A voice answered me,'Heaven.'

It was like the voice was kind and nice and pleasant to listen to.

Then I found myself standing up. My head was heavy, swooning. It felt like you kept spinning on the spot and you feel all giddy.
'Where am I?', 'Why did you wake me up? I was sleeping in my bed at home!', 'I want to go back!', 'Who are you?' and on
I was seeing doubles at first then they asked me if I was okay. Seriously, I had no idea so I just said I was.
My whole body felt pain and like it's shaking.

I'm not going to say what happened to me when I was unconscious since I was not there. Only my two witnesses know.
They said that my eyes were opened and unfocused. I was thrashing. So since I was moving, it's not a fit. Thank goodness. I stood up and started walking in a very drunk manner. No wonder I was standing.
Aleithia shouted for the teacher. Thank goodness.

I felt like I was up there was very long. Very very long. Like hours. But the whole thing only lasted 10 seconds? According to them. Everything felt like it was so fast though. This was all I could remember.

I'm so scared. Very scared.
I think Shiuan Wen and Aleithia were freaked. Very badly freaked.
I felt so light headed and empty the whole day. I still have like this weird taste in my throat and my stomach hurts. As in, the stomach organ, not muscle.

The doctor told me my brain might not have enough oxygen then and but it's not a seizure since I was moving.
I'll need a brain scan if it happens again in my life.
My mum's being stricter now. Hahaha probably no Sec 3 camp next year!

My maid told me that maybe it's true. She's a catholic and they say that in heaven, there'll be a man with a book that contain names of people whose time to die was recorded. So if your name isn't there, they sent you back.
Up there, the first place you'll go is a place. With trees. It's a paradise. You're supposed to see a man.

It's so true!
So maybe my name wasn't there and I got sent back to Earth.
I don't know. I don't know if that is God. I'm not sure. But I saw Heaven.
I'm not Christian but it's so real!

My sister thinks I've gone crazy. So did the doctor. But I believe what I saw. What my soul saw. Where my soul went and what she heard.

I don't think I'm scared of death now. Maybe a little but I've seen the place. It's like the most peaceful and wonderful place you'll ever be. It felt so happy, so carefree. It's the best place I've ever been in my life.

Now I'm looking up at clouds every time I can.
Hoping to see the place. Maybe tiny palm trees, at least.

This is all I can say.
Don't believe it if you don't.

But I swear, it was real.
It felt real.
Like I was there myself.

This is all. For now.

Youtube is the man

Thursday, November 27, 2008 11:03 PM

A very short one.
Mum is angry. Must go fake sleep.

Youtube live was good.
FRED SMOSH NIGAHIGA KEVJUMBA HAPPYSLIP SO ON SO ON. DAVE DAYS TOO!
I want to marry Lucas Cruikshank. End of story.

Haha, jk. But I mean he's 14 too(:
And he looked good being host.

THIS IS SO HACKIN' COOL.
Niights(:

Fred Frigglehorn!

I AM GOING TO WATCH STAR WARS

12:00 AM

one fine day.

Sean bets I don't last.

But for the sake of Hayden Christensen and Natalie Portman, I AM WATCHING IT.

Yes, Hayden Christensen is my fave fave actor now. His accent is sexaye. (The guy in the Womanizer MV looks like him!)

A little update on now, I'm ditched in the living room. It's dark like hell outside. Everyone's sleeping. I'm alone. My sister went to sleep without me. I'm sleeping in her room. I'm having insomnia. I can't sleep. My mind won't rest. I need to wake up at 7 to 7.30 tomorrow for dance. I might suffer back and leg injuries and maybe head (Yes, someone fell on her head today. Well maybe a few more. There was many people falling. It was a very dangerous stunt). Damn.

It's raining. Double damn.
That's it.
I don't know what to do. I can't read American Gods. This. Is. Shit.

My leg's getting numb.

Say it after me

Wednesday, November 26, 2008 9:46 PM

'Fuck that bitch'

HAHAHA.
Well I was reading all these stuff from P6. Like we passed letters and notes. OMG I laughed like hell.
'Fuck that bitch' was said by our dear own Caroline :D She said this 'Say it after me, FUCK THAT BITCH. Now, say it!' HA
All those things we talked about. CT said Lene was chio (does the wiggly eyebrow thing), CT and YQ acting gay and talking about girls, JL walking in the corridors and toilet and looking through the window into our class (am I supposed to squeal?), me going bonkers over *whistles*, Car and her very own LL and the prank call!, Lene was fun (gawd, how i miss her), Rakesh was being the man, melvin wooing pauline(HAHAHA). LONG AND THE EVIL ZOMBIE BUTT FROM URANUS. The nicest memory I have was then.
I felt like I was living back then in P6. My radio was confiscated (i mean yes, the wires were plugged out and dumped somewhere), my phone was gone, my diary was gone, I was going loon over blah blah blah, there was the V day letters and more. I think what I remember most was *whistles*. Frisson, yes yes. Like electric shock. Make sense? No.
And there was the flirting thing. Funny like hell. This concerns Car and Lene :D
And there was the JBB too. Oh the memories.

Lene's back from camp. Whee.

Dance was horrid, I tell you.
My back's gonna break. So tired!

Grandma's here. Ptttf. Need to give her my room. And I'm sleeping with my sister. Her room is noisy! Can hear people walking here and there at like 12 am. No kidding.
I can hardly sleep in her room too. It's like so spacious in a way but our rooms are the same size.
I'm just not used to it and i can hardly sleep these days. Gawd.

Oh, how i want to go back to P6.
Wind back the clock. Back to the days. Shirlene, Caroline, Pauline, Jia Min, Zhi Ying and Mu Qing, we were together. Cheng Tao was like a brother, Rakesh was like the hockey dude, Yan Qian laughed like hahahahaha, seriously, Yon Jun was always sitting with Yan Qian because of *whistles*, Mu Qing was gaga over Tan Hao (bai ma wang zi? :D), Alicia and Canyon! (YES I REMEMBER!), Jia Min and Nicholos (WHOOOO), Ok i'm going overboard. Shut up.

That's all for now. I feel so happy. I thought I was 12 for a moment.

Morning, my sweet morning

11:00 AM

No my morning wasn't sweet.

I finished reading Neverwhere yesterday night. The ending was kick-face nice!
There's lots of twists here and there but part of it is still cliche, but not very.

I spent the morning watching Youtube Live. Oh man, I WANT TO GO!
Nigahiga met Kevjumba for the frist time, Michael Buckley had a dance-off with John Chu and his dance crew. There's like a really young boy break dancing too.
Katy Perry is the host along with others like Lisa Nova and Michael Buckley.
Smosh, Ryan and Kevin were like standing together playing. It was like, omg the top stars!
They were playing this game. And there was like a ton of Youtube stars croweded around watching.
Akon was there. Soulja Boy. Erm and some more. This guy called Bo sang. He's a very famous Youtube musician too.
Michael Buckley did a Miley Cyrus birthday cheer. Hahahaha
It was all great!

I'm going to do the Chem mindmap now.

Neverwhere

Tuesday, November 25, 2008 7:20 PM

Take me with you to Neverwhere
Originally uploaded by jamwithsand

I'm reading Neverwhere by Neil Gaiman. It's a very very fun book!
Anyway, this morning, I found out that I had 3 pictures on Explore on Flickr. It was wow. I never knew that I made explore.
Today's been a long draggy day.

Dan's cousin Matt was talking to me. He keeps thinking that I think he's gay because Dan keeps telling him that he's gay. Does that make sense?

I was online window shopping. I want to go to Forever 21! :D I want this plaid black and red hoodie and matching sneakers!!!
Now I know why Trissy likes Forever 21.

I took a new picture today and you can see.
I don't know what more to say.

More later, maybe.
Oh and I'm loving Neil Gaiman.

Cheers.

My new middle name is Michelle

Monday, November 24, 2008 11:38 PM

And that's that, it's final.
Well John keeps calling me Michelle so it stays.

I don't know what to feel right now.
I'm writing a story.

I seem to like the name Lucia a lot. Maybe that can be my third middlde name.

I'm attached to the hip of my blog...

7:57 PM

..but it makes me feel happy.
I went back to KOL a bit in the afternoon because I was bored and Dan was playing it too.
I lost my one-million-and-few-hundred-thousand-meat account. Why must god make my life even harder?
I had my Hamm picture done. Now I'm waiting to show Caroline. Hehe I feel so excited to post the picture! But I have to wait for Caroline's part to be done before posting.
I'm feeling even worse now. I have no one to talk to and it's bad.
Worse I think. I need advice but he's probably asleep right now.
This is bad.
Why do I feel so bad my whole life.

Gawd.

Sadness prevail

2:24 PM

I feel alone now. Why why why.
And I'm seriously feeling bad. He haunts me in my dreams.
How bad can that be? Very bad.
Because I feel terribly horrid.
And Dan is making me feel better now. We're attempting Brit slangs and telling me how someone is going to cut his hair.

I feel like writing something.
But i don't know what to write. How bad can this be.

Playing a song game with Dan so we can get our minds off bad things. Doesn't seem to be working with the game.

JANICE says:
unltraviolet
danialjuhari says:
that thing you do =D
JANICE says:
only you ? hahaha
JANICE says:
untouched
danialjuhari says:
dani california !
JANICE says:
awww dip!
danialjuhari says:
paper wings
JANICE says:
so yesterday
danialjuhari says:
you and me
JANICE says:
E is for Everybody
JANICE says:
you look good and I'm drunk
danialjuhari says:
krotov syndrome
JANICE says:
Empty
JANICE says:
yolanda hayes?
danialjuhari says:
state of the union
JANICE says:
no not now

and we paused.

Now I'm back to feeling bad. Argh

I think I'm finally going to blog

12:30 PM

Well, lets see.
Caroline and I are talking again like old pals. It's great!
Remember the old days when we three were besties? And we laugh our heads off at our usual hangout at 3rd floor.
Those were the days. I almost died laughing once. I'm not kidding. Caroline made me choke on a biscuit during recess. Thank goodness I lived.

Gym. Haha. It was great. Mr Najib was there. It's weird.
Yoga was fun!
Body balance was great.
Pilates killed me.
Cardio machines are weird.
Hip Hop. Never going in there again.
I like the gym. But I wonder why people walk around naked in the locker room. It's disgusting!

Dance is going well(:
I love love love the new instructor. She made me realise that I could do many things I didn't knew I could.
And we do those back cracking exercise. I feel rubber bandy after that. Whee.
Anyway, the new SYF dance is cool. Fans! We learnt how to do fan tricks too. So it's cool(:

Flickr is so great these days. I have tons of friends now!
Alex from West Virginia. Phillipino American.
BaoHien from Houston. Vietnamese French.
N from Vietnam.
Ericka from Washington.
Zach from Rhode Island.
Jeramy from Singapore (hahaha).
Jon from Portsmouth.
Lindsey from somewhere I do not know. But it's the states.
Steffi from Austin.
And more.. and much much more.
It's like a flickr teen society! :D
Well and there's the adult friends too.

I'm working on pictures. I have some new ideas. Caroline just text me this cool one last night. I'm loving it!
My mum said that I could bring my tripod to thailand. How cool is that? And I have an empty room in the house there! Maybe I can persuade my parents to buy me a diffuser and reflector.
But I don't think it's going to happen.

I met Caroline on the bus after dance one day. She was reading Bringsr. I think it's time I read Eldest.
I read Stardust. Trust me, the movie is better.
I'm going back to read the confessions of Georgia Nicholson again(: It's so funny!

Anyway, I did this picture of Hamm bulimia. It was one of my flickr friends idea.
I looked like a loon dumping my entire piggy bank into the sink. Like throwing money down the drain.

And my dad just called me and tell me he just finished reading Tuesdays with Morrie.

Moving on. Caroline is writing a great great story called Six Just Right (hyperlink, just click it). It's a magnifique story(:
Lene's always busy with camp. I'm missing her a lot.
Dan the freaking lucky guy, enjoying his life in LA and before that Taipei.'
John's coming to Singapore. But I will be in Thailand. Why why?

I think British, Australian and Kiwi slangs are cool. I'm starting to love it.

I have problems sleeping lately. It's bad. I don't know why. It's like my head is filled with a lot od ideas and stuff and when I sleep I'm constantly haunted by this dream. I'm not kidding. It's always about one same topic.
My life is disastrous.
It's scary to keep having the same dream. Well, I'm feeling very guilty about something i've done and now I keep dreaming about it! My conciousness is getting the better of me.

Oh oh, my grandma is coming to live with us for a couple of days because my aunts and uncles are all in Turkey. It might be cool.

I followed my sister around on the day of her prom. Wheee. It was boring but it was okay. Because I partly loved what I was wearing.
We were out till 12am plus. It was the bomb(: to be out so late.
I think prom isn't fun. The fun is only there when you're dressing up.

I'm going to thailand in 5 days. Sigh.
I'm quite excited but part of me isn't too.
I'm going to cut my hair. And yes, change my hairstyle. It's fun to keep changing hairstyles. Maybe I'm going have a straight cut and a change in fringe(: now, that would be cool.

I'm watching taiwanese shows and listening to a couple of chinese songs too.
I have to help my horrible chinese.
Oh yes and I'm reading chinese books and newspapers too.

Speaking of newspaper, I read that an 8 year old boy shot his father and his father's friend and they died.
Seriously, 8 year old! I feel sad for the little boy. He probably didn't know what was going on.

The new yishun libary is pretty cool. The books are new! I mean seriously, like perfectly new. But there's a lot of people.

I want shoes. So, my parents and I went out to look for school shoes but I ended up buying velvet-y material shoes. If you look at the shoes at 2 angles, they change colour. Sleek!
I wanted hot pink ones though. I found these really nice pairs too. I want the entire Adidas Sleek Series!

I want to watch star wars. But I know nothing about it. Maybe it's time i wated it.
Hayden Christensen and Natalie Portman. Whooooooooo

Twilight! I've spoken to some Flickr friends and some like it some don't.
I'm gonna watch it in thailand. I can't freaking wait!
But to think of it, I don't really like the twilight saga. Edward and Bella are a bit too perfect don't you think?

Speaking of Flickr friends, BaoHien, Steffi and I decided to go round the globe in a van and kidnapping all the Asian Flickr friends. Hehe.

And now I'm pretty bored. Texting Caroline a little.
I've not beeing texting a lot of people these days.
I don't know why. I don't really bother about my phone.

I'm bonding a lot with my sister these days. I feel so sisterly. Hahaha.

I miss the P6 days.
When we all went to each other houses and ate popcorn and watched movies. I know Caroline said this in her blog but it's true. I think we're missing it.
Evil Zombie Butt from Uranus. And we called and emailed 987 with our dedications. It was nice.
And I told young to give Shirlene a ring on her birthday then. Happy memories. Very happy ones. We used to climb the toilet stall doors. Well that's Lene and me anyway. And smuggle food to eat in class and in the toilet. Hahaha.
Talking about these make me think of the guys too. It was funny.
I remember once I cut my finger and they was a blob of blood on it and Cheng Tao said he was a guru and could cure it. He mumbled all these weird things. Haha.
Ohoh and there was when I pasted Cheng Tao's entire face with stickers.
Then we all used to pass messages. Oh that was fun! I still have them. Lene, Car, Yan Qian, Yon Jun, Cheng Tao, Liang Min, Jia Min, Zhi Ying, Rakesh, Pauline and on and on. Those were the fun days.

Now it's gone. Sec 3. Gawd.

I'm going for now. But I still feel like blogging. It's fun. I guess.

I'm sorry

Thursday, November 13, 2008 11:08 AM

I'm sorry that I've been dead. On my blog and on Flickr.
I hardly have time for anything.

I'm gonna blog again, i promise. Blog on everything that has happened since 30th november. I'll try to remember. Now, I have some stuff to do and yeah, eat BRUCH! :D

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